Halloween

So, for Halloween I was Wednesday Addams. I dressed up for school and wore my costume for the whole day.

It was fun, and actually quite a few people got who I was, which made me really happy. I was not expecting to have people really understand my costume. I also don't have school tomorrow, but I'll be spending the day doing homework, college-prep, interviewing, and doing a chat for one of the colleges I'm really attached to.

As much as I like school (and I really do love it) I can't wait until I have days off after I've applied to college, because then I'll be able to breathe, and have fun (which for me translates to: going to bookstores, wandering around, writing, and reading. Oh, and maybe watching something fun).

In AP Literature we're going to start Othello soon, which I am so excited for. On my iPhone, I have a "Shakespeare App", which has all of his plays and his sonnets. It's probably my favorite app that I have or ever will have, because what on earth is better than having all of Shakespeare's plays literally in the palm of your hand? And no, I'm not being sarcastic. If you know me, you know that I get rather enthused about things like this. But my point about Othello (other than it's wonder and beauty) is that there's a character in in named Emilia (which is very close to my name). But she dies. Supposedly. Which is what happens in all of Shakespeare's tragedies, I know, but still. It'll be weird to have a character with basically my name die. Oh boy!

So, back on the topic of Halloween... I really was in the mood to watch a scary movie tonight. But I don't own any, and there weren't any on the TV channels that we get. So I didn't get to watch one. Which kind of makes me sad. Because I would've loved to sit down and eat popcorn and drink water and tea and watch a creepy movie (preferably from the 80s or something, because those are always fun. But any scary movie would've done well.)

Okay, I'm off to work on Calculus homework!

Oh, Weather.

So, where I live it is currently October the thirtieth. There is also currently snow on the ground.
I mean, granted, there isn't that much snow. But there is snow nonetheless. In the fall.

This does not please me. I mean, yes, I do like snow. I just like it when snow falls in late November or in December. At times when I feel like I should be making latkes, or drinking homemade cocoa, or wearing four layers. I get cold easily, but I'm not used to feeling as though I have to wear upwards of two layers in the fall.

As I've said in previous posts, fall is my favorite season. The reason being that up in the Northeast, where I live, the leaves are usually bright and colorful, and one can see all of the changes wherever he or she walks. But nope, not this fall. This fall some leaves changed, but most remained green and on the trees. Now they are all going to turn brown and fall off, which is not a pretty sight at all.

I also am not such a huge fan of the prospect of snow on Halloween, which is my favorite holiday. The snow yesterday caused  a special Halloween event my town has to be postponed until today, when I'm not able to go. And I was planning on going with my friend. I mean, my friend and I still got to hang out, but it would have been so much more fun to go to the event. Instead we watched "Halloween" (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 2, episode 6) and "The Addams Family" (the movie) and baked cookies and then went for a walk in the snow. Which caused me to soak my converse and almost freeze.

But it was still fun. Just a bit weird. I feel like I should be all done with college applications at this point and be sending them off, and be on vacation. (I should be almost done with them, which I'm not quite yet, but I'm working hard on them!) I'm not applying ED/EA anywhere, but I like to have things done as early as is possible. For example, yesterday I finished an essay for my Race class that is not due until Wednesday.

So, harrumph. I'm a bit perturbed by the snow, but I suppose it just gives me an excuse to drink as much warm tea as I please. Which is never a bad thing.

Mother, Wife

She is blind to what is all around her.

She cannot see, though they tell her.

"Don't." She cannot fathom the truth,

unable to accept what the fates have bestowed 

upon her. Sin, oh what sin!

To have committed the acts that she has!

What shame! horror! blasphemy! 

She did not want to believe--

he, her own son-- blood and life,

now father-- her daughters and sons--

born of sin, of lies, of soiled blood.

Oh! Jocasta! Why did you not see?

A dead husband, mourning,

only to bed your son soon after.

And now she walks, to the room,

of life, of matrimony, and she pulls 

out the rope, running it through her

fingers. Rubbing it between her 

fingertips, and she ties it.

A perfect knot, and she wraps it

around her pale, thin neck.

"Good-bye my son, my beloved."

(c) October 2011

Dreams Do Come True

Today, in English class we talked about Sylvia Plath.

We just finished Oedipus Tyrannus (which is the same as Oedipus Rex, in case you were wondering.) So, anyways, after we finished my English teacher goes:

"So, does anyone know who Sylvia Plath is?"

My hand shoots up, and she sort of smiles and then calls on me. I proceed to give a very brief description of who Sylvia was (though in all honesty I could have gone on for quite a long time.) Funny enough, we were talking about irony today as well, and, ironically today I had chosen to wear my The Bell Jar t-shirt.

In case you had no idea, I'm more than a little obsessed with Sylvia Plath. I own multiple copies of The Bell Jar, would like to own more copies, have read her letters, her poems, and have asked to receive her diaries for my birthday this year.

This was second period (so around 9:30am) and it just made me feel giddy for the rest of the day. I went up after class and told my teacher about my love for Sylvia Plath.

The thing about Sylvia is that she is a sort of role model to me, though I do not desire to stick my head into an oven. I feel a desire to learn everything about her, to visit her home, her grave, to see her writings, to hear her speak. I want to time travel back to when she was still alive and go out to tea with her. We'd sit together and discuss literature and writing, and then we would go for a long walk in nature. I'd hug her, watch over her, and make her cookies when she felt sad. I'd tell her that she doesn't need Ted, that he's no good for her. I'd try to save her as best as I could.

Why did my English teacher ask us who Sylvia was?
Because we get to annotate and then analyze one of her poems in which she makes an allusion to Oedipus Tyrannus. Just, AH! My dream! I get to analyze Sylvia Plath for a grade! English class this year is turning into a dream come true.

In which I write a letter to Sylvia Plath

Dear Sylvia,

Today you would have been 79. But you never even got to see your 31st birthday. 

I often wish I could go back in time and help you. To tell you that you were beautiful, that you didn't need to be depressed.

But maybe even that wouldn't have changed anything. Maybe even if I showed you the beauty in the world you still would have make your children a snack and then stuck your head in that oven.

I wish, so badly that I could have met you. I would have loved to talk with you about poetry, because you are one of the people who inspired me to write poems, which is something that I do quite often. In eighth grade, we had to do a Biography Project, and I almost did you. But I wasn't allowed to.

I don't do much to celebrate your birthday, other than think about your poems and life. Maybe I should do more, and maybe I will start a tradition-- though it would start next year because 3:30 pm is a bit too late to start any sort of major tradition.

I've read The Bell Jar about four or five times, which is a lot, given the number of books that I read. I dream about analyzing it and about analyzing your poetry.

Basically, Happy Birthday Sylvia, I miss you even though I never knew you.

Love,

Emily

The Edge

She walks along the bridge's edge,

above the dark water.

She wants to fall in,

to fall into the freezing currents,

to be swept away to a magical place,

and just before she's dead,

a golden dog will save her,

just like that story about

the red-haired french girl.

But this isn't Paris,

no one is around,

no one hears the splash

after she jumps. Her eyes close,

and she wishes, to be saved,

her eyelids flutter, her teeth chatter,

her dress far too heavy for the waters,

pulling her under, not into any world

she ever wanted to go to. Until she feels

two hands on her shoulders, pulling her back into

the light, the real world. 

"What are you, crazy?"

(c) October 2011

The Smell of Books

Today my English class took a field trip.

To the "book room" at my school. aka the room full of all the books all the English classes at my school read.

The minute we entered I breathed in the smell and I smiled. The smell of books is one of my favorite smells in the whole world. If Amortentia were real, I would smell: the smell of books, new and old; peppermint; and the smell of grass after a rainstorm.

Anyways, so there I was, with my English class, in the book room. I honestly felt as though I was in heaven-- surrounded by Frankenstein, the works of Shakespeare, 1984, works of Toni Morrison, and many more that I do not specifically remember at this time. A friend in my class made a comment that maybe I should live in there during the summer, to which I replied "Yes! School and Books!" which elicited a smile from my English teacher. The three of us, while walking back to the classroom proceeded to discuss college libraries.

This was one of the best moments of my senior year so far.

I just had another thought: What if we get to go to the book room every time we start a new book?! 
Oh, I really hope we do!