Fears

I know that I've been posting mainly "end of the year" posts of late, but that is what I am mainly thinking about.

I'm terrified, and joyous. I hope that my college decision is the right one--the one that will get me into a good graduate school, which, in turn, will allow me to have a good life. I dislike disappointing people, and I'm afraid that saying "no" to my other beloved acceptances will make them mad. I know that this is a silly thought, but I can't help it.

There is a Sylvia Plath quote that describes my worries (because there is a Sylvia Plath quote for everything): "What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle-age." I am so afraid of failure, more than anything else (frogs, spiders, heights, bees). I need to feel successful, and hopefully that is what college will bring for me. I can only wish.

I know that I can make the best of my educational life, but I'm still scared. I mean, I've never been to college before.

In other news, I got sorted on Pottermore the other day, and I'm a Ravenclaw. So it is official. I've identified with the Ravenclaw house for quite some time, and, while I fully identify as a Ravendor, I did not not want to be a Gryffindor.

Also, vacation has been lovely in many ways. I saw "Cabin in the Woods" with friends. It was so wonderful. And I am now going to go read and listen to bad music. Which is always entertaining.