Thoughts currently in my mind: Lights

My parents are divorced, and so I have two bedrooms.

While my bedrooms are different, they (at least for now) have one thing in common: lights. More specifically, the strings of "holiday" lights- the multicolored ones that you can buy at most any convince store or "superstore" around this time of year. I'm not huge on holiday decorating, but the lights make me happy, and they don't have to go with any specific holiday--they could be for Hanukkah, the Solstice, Christmas, or just winter in general. They give me a sense of warmth, which is a feeling I search for in many forms.

A cup of tea, a hug, fuzzy socks on a cold night, literature, family, and friends are all forms of warmth that I have found, and light (in all it's forms--sun, candles, stringed, etc) is another way for me to feel warm and feel happy.

Thoughts currently in my mind: Coloring Books

Even remembering back to my childhood, I do not really remember using coloring books often. I usually drew my own pictures--I don't have many collections of old coloring books.

One coloring book that I do remember having was a small, perhaps 4 by 6 inch, fairies book. In it there were many different fairies, by themselves, with friends, and with woodland creatures. Regretfully, I did not color it in all that neatly (I was about six when I had it), so though I'm pretty sure I didn't finish it, it would be a mess now.

I do think that, once my college applications are all in, it would be fun to buy a coloring book and color in it with friends, just to regain at least a piece of what childhood is supposed to be.

(On the subject of college apps, I may not be posting much at all this upcoming week, because I'm trying to have all of my applications in by early to mid December).

Thoughts currently in my mind: The Power of a Name

Oh look, I took this picture. Mysterious pathways, yay! This picture has nothing to do with the blog post.

I've been thinking of late, it seems to be so rare that we actually use our names in daily conversation, whether through text, chatter in the halls, or email/IM. When I talk to my friends we don't often address one another by saying "Hi _______." We mostly go with "Hello!"

We are assigned names to help us form our identities, and without them what are we but blank slates?

I mean, it's not like I'm never addressed as "Emily", but it seems as though the concept of using names in conversation is slowly dying out. I'm a contributor to this, I don't deny it. Occasionally I will address my friends by their name, but usually I fall into the category of just saying "Hey", or poking them to get their attention.

I like the way my name sounds, and I like the way my friends' names sound. Some of them seem so exotic and beautiful, and I love the feeling of their names on my tongue, but I choose to not use their names.

Names are important in order to keep us human. Without them we could run the risk of being reduced to numbers, symbols, or even nothingness.

Names are the core of who we are. I feel like I would be a very different person if I were named something like Mary, Catherine, Elizabeth, or Anya. I would still have my basic personality, but with a different name I might feel differently about myself.

Thoughts currently in my mind: People Watching

Another hobby that I love is people watching. Wherever I go, I always watch those around me.

I promise you that this isn't nearly as creepy as it might sound. People watching is how I've gotten ideas for bits of my stories. I love seeing how others in the world interact with one another, to see lives different from my own. I think that that is the reason that I like the city-- because I don't really love the smells or the crowds of the city, and yet I still yearn to travel into the city from time to time. Obviously, the city has other great aspects to it, but I think seeing all the different people is the best part.

That being said, almost all the colleges that I'm looking at are in towns, not cities. But still, I do enjoy the city and all the people that come with it.

But back to people watching... it really is amazing how much you can learn if you simply listen. Not in a creepy, eavesdropping kind of way, but in a "I'm just going to sit here with my tea and my classic literature and listen" kind of way. Try it sometime, you'll be surprised at how much you learn.

Thoughts currently in my mind: Swearing

If you know me, you know I don't swear.
Okay, I do say 'crap' and 'hell' occasionally, but other than that I don't swear.

Yet another thing that makes me abnormal as compared to most teenagers.

The reason I don't swear has nothing to do with religion nor is it because my family is strict and forbids it.

I don't swear because I don't want to. I feel as though I can express myself just fine without using profanity.

I'm fine if other people do it, sometimes it even seems elegant to me- which may also sound weird, but hey, it's what I think.

Thoughts currently in my mind: Identities

What is it that causes us to form our identities?
Is it how we are raised? Is it genetic?

This idea is something that I often think about.

One of my guilty pleasures is taking "which character from ______ are you most like?" quizzes, especially the detailed, not so obvious ones. Whenever I get my result, I always think of ways in which I am like that character, and I feel more connected to them in a way, and I also sometimes question who I am because of the result.

These quizzes continue to fascinate me because I do start to feel more like whichever character the quiz tells me I am, and when I have told others of my quiz results they often respond with murmurs of something along the lines of "Oh, that makes sense". Which is interesting because I've gotten characters who, if you were to line them all up, would be considered quite different from one another. But I believe that when one gets their quiz result, it does not mean that they are exactly like that character, but rather they may share a few aspects of that character's personality.

Obviously almost no one is going to be exactly like a character from a movie, TV show, or novel. However, the way any good movie, show, or novel is written allows the viewer/reader to connect to at least one character if not more than one. This is what makes these movies, shows, and novels so successful. If people can place themselves within another world, they are more likely to enjoy it.

So, Identity is indeed a funny thing...
what is it to you?

Thoughts currently in my mind: Sylvia Plath

I feel like I should be posting this on her birthday.
Then I thought: I can post some on Sylvia now AND on her birthday, because I can chose to do whatever I please on here. Then I felt very powerful and now I want to celebrate by drinking tea and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer but I can't, because it's late and I have school work and college work to do.
But I'm listening to a song by Amber Benson, which is a compromise.

So, Sylvia:

 

Here are some photographs of her. (The one on the right is of her and her younger brother).

Because I am tired I shall only write a poem about Sylvia. I will write more about her on October 27th (what would have been her birthday).

Here goes nothing...

Sylvia,

oh Sylvia!

What a young face, 

what an old mind.

You saw,

you lived,

you were,

too much.

And so you stopped,

long before you needed to,

far before you should have, 

and with such tragedy.

A snack,

and then, 

did they say "I love you Mommy"?

Did they cling to your skirt,

give you hugs and shampoo scented

kisses,

show you real love?

Show you how life wasn't always bad?

Did they cry when you didn't return for them?

Call out "Mama!"?

Oh, Sylvia!

(c) September 2011

Thoughts currently in my mind: Evelyn Nesbit

No, I did not take this photo, nor do I claim to own it.

So, for AP English, one of the books I was required to read over the summer was Ragtime by E.L. Doctorow. As I was reading, I became fascinated with a character in it: Evelyn Nesbit. Though she was in a fictional work, she was one of a series of characters who were actual people. Evelyn was my favorite character in Ragtime, and I wanted to know more about her. So, I went to the library (hey, it's what I do when I'm in doubt or curious about something... or just in general) and borrowed a biography on her (link). This was a well written account of her life, and it left me wanting to read even more about her. Sadly, her autobiography (Prodigal Days) is out of print and rather pricey on Amazon. (If anyone knows where to find a copy that doesn't cost hundreds of dollars, let me know!!)

Evelyn is known as one of, if not the most photographed woman of the 20th century. And if that wasn't enough, she was also involved in what came to be known as "The Crime of the Century"- a case where her lover, Henry Thaw, shot her ex-lover, Stanford White. Oh, those crazy 20th century men... But on a more serious note, she was quite the fascinating young lady. You really should read more about her.

Oh, did I happen to mention a photograph of her inspired L.M. Montgomery to create Anne Shirley, of Anne Of Green Gables fame? Yup, that was Evelyn. (The photo that was the inspiration is to the right- she has flowers in her hair).

She traveled throughout Europe, had a son but never admitted who his father really was, and stared in a few silent films. She also was in some theater productions.

I think something I love about her, even ignoring her crazy life, is her beauty. She's quite beautiful, and not necessarily in the typical way- rather she looks as though she walked out of some old painting. Google her, it's really true.

That's all on Miss Evelyn for now.

I start Senior Year in about seventeen hours!

Thoughts currently in my mind: Pathways

I took this. It's one of many pathways in my life.

I like taking photographs of pathways. This habit did not begin on purpose, it just so happens that pathways seem to be a theme amongst my photography. I suppose it's not completely strange- I do love traveling, and in order to get anywhere, one must travel along a path of some sort- whether it be dirt, concrete, or air. Pathways lead us to new aspects of our lives. Without them we'd go nowhere, literally or metaphorically.