I'm not a morbid person. Really, I'm not.
Yet whenever I write a short story or a poem, it ends up being disturbing.
I think that this has something to do with my interest in psychology, and why people act the way in which they do. My life so far has had no abuse, and I have never hit anyone with a stick (that's a reference to a story I wrote in 10th grade). Often, when I attempt to write a happy story or poem, it ends up sounding overly peppy and sickeningly sweet to me.
This is not to say I have never written something that is happy, I have. Though they are few and far between.
So, that's all for now. I just wanted to let you guys know that even though I may write sad and disturbing poems on here, I am not a morbid person.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Dreams
She sits,
on the windowsill.
She looks,
outside.
She wonders,
what her life will become.
She dreams,
a wedding,
a cream dress,
rose petals,
perfect hair.
Like a fairytale.
But fairytales are not reality,
she worries.
Of abuse,
debt,
no children.
And so,
she jumps.
(c) September 2011
on the windowsill.
She looks,
outside.
She wonders,
what her life will become.
She dreams,
a wedding,
a cream dress,
rose petals,
perfect hair.
Like a fairytale.
But fairytales are not reality,
she worries.
Of abuse,
debt,
no children.
And so,
she jumps.
(c) September 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Thoughts currently in my mind: Identities
What is it that causes us to form our identities?
Is it how we are raised? Is it genetic?
This idea is something that I often think about.
One of my guilty pleasures is taking "which character from ______ are you most like?" quizzes, especially the detailed, not so obvious ones. Whenever I get my result, I always think of ways in which I am like that character, and I feel more connected to them in a way, and I also sometimes question who I am because of the result.
These quizzes continue to fascinate me because I do start to feel more like whichever character the quiz tells me I am, and when I have told others of my quiz results they often respond with murmurs of something along the lines of "Oh, that makes sense". Which is interesting because I've gotten characters who, if you were to line them all up, would be considered quite different from one another. But I believe that when one gets their quiz result, it does not mean that they are exactly like that character, but rather they may share a few aspects of that character's personality.
Obviously almost no one is going to be exactly like a character from a movie, TV show, or novel. However, the way any good movie, show, or novel is written allows the viewer/reader to connect to at least one character if not more than one. This is what makes these movies, shows, and novels so successful. If people can place themselves within another world, they are more likely to enjoy it.
So, Identity is indeed a funny thing...
what is it to you?
Is it how we are raised? Is it genetic?
This idea is something that I often think about.
One of my guilty pleasures is taking "which character from ______ are you most like?" quizzes, especially the detailed, not so obvious ones. Whenever I get my result, I always think of ways in which I am like that character, and I feel more connected to them in a way, and I also sometimes question who I am because of the result.
These quizzes continue to fascinate me because I do start to feel more like whichever character the quiz tells me I am, and when I have told others of my quiz results they often respond with murmurs of something along the lines of "Oh, that makes sense". Which is interesting because I've gotten characters who, if you were to line them all up, would be considered quite different from one another. But I believe that when one gets their quiz result, it does not mean that they are exactly like that character, but rather they may share a few aspects of that character's personality.
Obviously almost no one is going to be exactly like a character from a movie, TV show, or novel. However, the way any good movie, show, or novel is written allows the viewer/reader to connect to at least one character if not more than one. This is what makes these movies, shows, and novels so successful. If people can place themselves within another world, they are more likely to enjoy it.
So, Identity is indeed a funny thing...
what is it to you?
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Storytellers
The graves,
they tell stories of long ago
of times past,
other lives,
other worlds,
some short,
some impossibly long,
some gone before they began,
like storybooks,
whispering the stories,
fueling imagination,
horror stories,
love stories,
until they call you
to join them.
(c) September 2011
they tell stories of long ago
of times past,
other lives,
other worlds,
some short,
some impossibly long,
some gone before they began,
like storybooks,
whispering the stories,
fueling imagination,
horror stories,
love stories,
until they call you
to join them.
(c) September 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Autumn
Fall is without a doubt, my favorite season. I love everything about it- the clothing, the weather, the changing leaves, the holidays (Halloween!!), and more!
Today is the equinox. For those of you who are not aware, the autumnal equinox is the day that it officially become fall. (Thus, today is one of my favorite days of the year.) It's also almost October, which is my favorite month of my favorite season. So I am happy.
Hopefully soon, once the leaves begin to really change, I'll go for a nice walk and take lots of fall photographs, because that's something that helps me to relax and also I love nature.
As a culture, we rely far too much on technology and now we have started to ignore the pure, unadulterated beauty that is the outdoors. We sit inside our homes, on various social networking sites, caught up in narcissism and screens. We ignore the world outside our doors, the world that has been here for far longer than we have, the world that we have begun to destroy the pure world.
Sorry to get all depressive about humankind, but it's just a thought I often think, and isn't this blog all about thoughts?
Fall poem, one of possibly many to come:
Candlelight,
the world starts to yawn,
to change,
to color itself,
like never before,
like Autumn's sibling seasons forbid themselves to do:
Sister Spring says: I must be pure, only pinks, greens, and pastels...
Brother Summer says: The days grow long, and I must remain fresh, green, sweltering, to please...
Brother Winter says: Now the world is going to sleep- only white and muted browns may cover this world...
But Autumn, she is strong,
she rebels,
coloring herself a myriad of colors-
reds, oranges, browns, greens, yellows...
allowing children to jump
in her leaves,
favorite memories formed,
until,
all too soon,
she gives away to barren life.
(c) September 2011
Today is the equinox. For those of you who are not aware, the autumnal equinox is the day that it officially become fall. (Thus, today is one of my favorite days of the year.) It's also almost October, which is my favorite month of my favorite season. So I am happy.
Hopefully soon, once the leaves begin to really change, I'll go for a nice walk and take lots of fall photographs, because that's something that helps me to relax and also I love nature.
As a culture, we rely far too much on technology and now we have started to ignore the pure, unadulterated beauty that is the outdoors. We sit inside our homes, on various social networking sites, caught up in narcissism and screens. We ignore the world outside our doors, the world that has been here for far longer than we have, the world that we have begun to destroy the pure world.
Sorry to get all depressive about humankind, but it's just a thought I often think, and isn't this blog all about thoughts?
Fall poem, one of possibly many to come:
Candlelight,
the world starts to yawn,
to change,
to color itself,
like never before,
like Autumn's sibling seasons forbid themselves to do:
Sister Spring says: I must be pure, only pinks, greens, and pastels...
Brother Summer says: The days grow long, and I must remain fresh, green, sweltering, to please...
Brother Winter says: Now the world is going to sleep- only white and muted browns may cover this world...
But Autumn, she is strong,
she rebels,
coloring herself a myriad of colors-
reds, oranges, browns, greens, yellows...
allowing children to jump
in her leaves,
favorite memories formed,
until,
all too soon,
she gives away to barren life.
(c) September 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Thoughts currently in my mind: Sylvia Plath
I feel like I should be posting this on her birthday.
Then I thought: I can post some on Sylvia now AND on her birthday, because I can chose to do whatever I please on here. Then I felt very powerful and now I want to celebrate by drinking tea and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer but I can't, because it's late and I have school work and college work to do.
But I'm listening to a song by Amber Benson, which is a compromise.
So, Sylvia:
Here are some photographs of her. (The one on the right is of her and her younger brother).
Because I am tired I shall only write a poem about Sylvia. I will write more about her on October 27th (what would have been her birthday).
Here goes nothing...
Then I thought: I can post some on Sylvia now AND on her birthday, because I can chose to do whatever I please on here. Then I felt very powerful and now I want to celebrate by drinking tea and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer but I can't, because it's late and I have school work and college work to do.
But I'm listening to a song by Amber Benson, which is a compromise.
So, Sylvia:
Here are some photographs of her. (The one on the right is of her and her younger brother).
Because I am tired I shall only write a poem about Sylvia. I will write more about her on October 27th (what would have been her birthday).
Here goes nothing...
Sylvia,
oh Sylvia!
What a young face,
what an old mind.
You saw,
you lived,
you were,
too much.
And so you stopped,
long before you needed to,
far before you should have,
and with such tragedy.
A snack,
and then,
did they say "I love you Mommy"?
Did they cling to your skirt,
give you hugs and shampoo scented
kisses,
show you real love?
Show you how life wasn't always bad?
Did they cry when you didn't return for them?
Call out "Mama!"?
Oh, Sylvia!
(c) September 2011
(c) September 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
In another world...
another time,
another place,
this might've been different.
she might've been strong,
she might've been brave,
she might've been free.
but she's not.
she's stuck, nowhere to
go. no one to
go to. nothing to
live for. she's working,
each day, far more than 9 to 5
in the mill, with the other children,
with the man who runs them,
ruins them.
(c) September 2011
another place,
this might've been different.
she might've been strong,
she might've been brave,
she might've been free.
but she's not.
she's stuck, nowhere to
go. no one to
go to. nothing to
live for. she's working,
each day, far more than 9 to 5
in the mill, with the other children,
with the man who runs them,
ruins them.
(c) September 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Ringer
 |
| I do not own this photograph. It is a promotional photo for Ringer. |
For those of you who don't know, Ringer is Sarah Michelle Gellar's new show that premiered yesterday (and, as all the reviewers like to point out, her first television show since Buffy The Vampire Slayer ended eight years ago). So, Sarah's back! Which does enthuse me quite a bit! Of course, what I would want even more would be a new show with Amber Benson on it, but Sarah is pretty wonderful.
Prior to the premiere, I looked up reviews online, to see what others had to say. The funny thing I noticed was that the reviews were highly polarized- either the reviewer adored the show or they nearly abhorred it. I can't recall the last time I read reviews this polarized.
Now that I've seen the show, I lean more to the side of those who liked it. Yes, it was predictable to some extent; yes, this plot line or variations thereof has been done many, many times before; yes, it had its moments of being disjointed, but overall I enjoyed it. Let me add to this by saying I don't watch television much at all, so I'm picky about what shows I watch. I'm going to continue watching it at least for another week or so, to see what they do with the storyline. If I'm wildly confused then I may give up on it, but if I like it then I shall continue.
It's funny that the two shows I plan on watching next (Ringer and How I Met Your Mother) both have actresses from Buffy the Vampire Slayer in them (Sarah Michelle Gellar and Alyson Hannigan, respectively). Anything having to do with Buffy makes me a happy child (other things make me happy as well, but I'd need a whole blog post to describe them). So these shows, even if they aren't the most amazing thing in the universe will make me feel happy.
Oh! I'm reading a really good book right now: The Secret History by Donna Tartt.
That's all for now, I must go and finish my piles of homework!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Evelyn dearest:
Evelyn
only sixteen, why did you
give it all away?
what drew you in?
why did you listen?
what captivated you?
only twenty,
blood covered hands.
tangled with crime,
corruption,
murder,
lust, love
and a child.
whose child? who knows?
oh, Evelyn
(c) September 2011
only sixteen, why did you
give it all away?
what drew you in?
why did you listen?
what captivated you?
only twenty,
blood covered hands.
tangled with crime,
corruption,
murder,
lust, love
and a child.
whose child? who knows?
oh, Evelyn
(c) September 2011
Last First Day
So, in case the title didn't make it obvious to you, today was my last first day of high school.
Granted, I still look like I'm about 14, but nope, I'm a Senior.
That'll take a while before it feels natural to say...
But now about the day!
I had almost all my classes today (all of them except for French). I love them. ALL of them. Really, truly. I mean, it's in no way going to be an easy year, but I feel as though I can really handle it, and that all will be well. (Which, if you knew me, is a LOT for me to say). I already have bunches of work to do, so this blog is going to be updated only about twice a week (more if, by some miracle, I have more free time). I really do want to keep it up and running, but I simply will not be able to post every day on top of studying for SATs, applying to college, Senior Year work, Literary Magazine, Ukulele, and getting exercise.
Oh, yeah. This is what I wore. I love the top- it looks like something out of the Victorian Era (I'm a history fanatic) and the necklace is a British Telephone booth (technically not the same as the TARDIS, but far more like the booths used for visitors to enter the Ministry of Magic). Yes, I did just analyze my necklace. It's what I do.
So, I'm off to write questions for English class, study Mathematics, review History, and pack my bag for tomorrow!
Goodbye!
Granted, I still look like I'm about 14, but nope, I'm a Senior.
That'll take a while before it feels natural to say...
But now about the day!
I had almost all my classes today (all of them except for French). I love them. ALL of them. Really, truly. I mean, it's in no way going to be an easy year, but I feel as though I can really handle it, and that all will be well. (Which, if you knew me, is a LOT for me to say). I already have bunches of work to do, so this blog is going to be updated only about twice a week (more if, by some miracle, I have more free time). I really do want to keep it up and running, but I simply will not be able to post every day on top of studying for SATs, applying to college, Senior Year work, Literary Magazine, Ukulele, and getting exercise.
Oh, yeah. This is what I wore. I love the top- it looks like something out of the Victorian Era (I'm a history fanatic) and the necklace is a British Telephone booth (technically not the same as the TARDIS, but far more like the booths used for visitors to enter the Ministry of Magic). Yes, I did just analyze my necklace. It's what I do.
So, I'm off to write questions for English class, study Mathematics, review History, and pack my bag for tomorrow!
Goodbye!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Thoughts currently in my mind: Evelyn Nesbit
 |
| No, I did not take this photo, nor do I claim to own it. |
Evelyn is known as one of, if not the most photographed woman of the 20th century. And if that wasn't enough, she was also involved in what came to be known as "The Crime of the Century"- a case where her lover, Henry Thaw, shot her ex-lover, Stanford White. Oh, those crazy 20th century men... But on a more serious note, she was quite the fascinating young lady. You really should read more about her.Oh, did I happen to mention a photograph of her inspired L.M. Montgomery to create Anne Shirley, of Anne Of Green Gables fame? Yup, that was Evelyn. (The photo that was the inspiration is to the right- she has flowers in her hair).
She traveled throughout Europe, had a son but never admitted who his father really was, and stared in a few silent films. She also was in some theater productions.
I think something I love about her, even ignoring her crazy life, is her beauty. She's quite beautiful, and not necessarily in the typical way- rather she looks as though she walked out of some old painting. Google her, it's really true.That's all on Miss Evelyn for now.
I start Senior Year in about seventeen hours!
Summer's Last Morning
First off: THIS is a really lovely song. Go listen to it.
Okay, now the actual post.
I felt like I should make a post about this- the last morning of summer.
It feels like something that I should write poetry about- hey, maybe I will someday.
The last morning when I can get up and not go to school. I do love school, but there is a wonderful feeling when you can get up late (and for me late is maybe 8am) and be able to read, or watch children's tv shows, or go for a walk, or anything you wish.
Yesterday, I went to bed at 8:45pm and it was wonderful. I'm not one of those teenagers who likes to stay up late- in fact, I can't really stay up past 3 without crashing. (Though I did stay up almost all night at a sleepover with friends this summer). The point being, I like having power regarding when I go to sleep and when I wake up. Once school begins again (yipes, tomorrow!) I will no longer have that kind of freedom. But I do get to learn cool things, so it's a pretty good trade-off. Except that I'm going to have crazy amounts of work.
I honestly think what I'll miss most about the summer was time for free reading. Reading is, without a doubt, my favorite pastime. And once school starts up again- with College Applications and AP work and normal work- I won't have much time for free reading. Which saddens me. But I can still read before going to sleep, and there will be vacations or days off when I can take an hour or so to read. Everything will be okay.
This blog was started because I wanted a place to just write, and also as a method of lessening my stress. Because I get stressed easily, I have things that help me, including:
So, here's an 'off the cuff' poem for you guys:
Summer's days are gone,
adieu to you and you,
wonderful moments,
some captured by a lens, others
only in the mind,
never to be forgotten,
always there,
to pull back just when you need
a friend
a feeling of happiness,
joy,
wonder
goodbye,
see you next year.
(c) September 2011
Okay, now the actual post.
I felt like I should make a post about this- the last morning of summer.
It feels like something that I should write poetry about- hey, maybe I will someday.
The last morning when I can get up and not go to school. I do love school, but there is a wonderful feeling when you can get up late (and for me late is maybe 8am) and be able to read, or watch children's tv shows, or go for a walk, or anything you wish.
Yesterday, I went to bed at 8:45pm and it was wonderful. I'm not one of those teenagers who likes to stay up late- in fact, I can't really stay up past 3 without crashing. (Though I did stay up almost all night at a sleepover with friends this summer). The point being, I like having power regarding when I go to sleep and when I wake up. Once school begins again (yipes, tomorrow!) I will no longer have that kind of freedom. But I do get to learn cool things, so it's a pretty good trade-off. Except that I'm going to have crazy amounts of work.
I honestly think what I'll miss most about the summer was time for free reading. Reading is, without a doubt, my favorite pastime. And once school starts up again- with College Applications and AP work and normal work- I won't have much time for free reading. Which saddens me. But I can still read before going to sleep, and there will be vacations or days off when I can take an hour or so to read. Everything will be okay.
This blog was started because I wanted a place to just write, and also as a method of lessening my stress. Because I get stressed easily, I have things that help me, including:
- this blog
- martial arts
- drawing
- walks
- making videos
and
- writing poems and short stories
So, here's an 'off the cuff' poem for you guys:
Summer's days are gone,
adieu to you and you,
wonderful moments,
some captured by a lens, others
only in the mind,
never to be forgotten,
always there,
to pull back just when you need
a friend
a feeling of happiness,
joy,
wonder
goodbye,
see you next year.
(c) September 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Season Seven
Be forewarned, this post contains spoilers!
So, a good friend came over this afternoon, and together we braved the last ever episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I'm so relieved that Season Seven is over and done with. Though it had its good moments, all in all I was not a fan of this season whatsoever.
Granted, I came into it with a bias (I'm a HUGE Tara fan, and thus after Season Six, nothing was ever really the same again.) But even without that slant, many parts of this season just bothered me. Namely, the Potentials. Many of them are so whiny, and though I was glad with what happened in the end (all of them being activated and such) I didn't like them. Especially Kennedy. Never mind that she was Willow's new girlfriend (NO ONE can top Tara, so I was set up to dislike Kennedy) but she is so annoying even ignoring my bias, and a self-confessed "brat". She's also not Willow's type.
Willow's other relationships (Oz and Tara) were quiet, caring, compassionate, and selfless individuals. They put others first, and helped Willow to mature and discover who she really was/her place in the world. Kennedy was nearly the opposite. She whined, she was too loud, and she pushed Willow to points where she (Willow) felt quite uncomfortable. Though there are some things she did right (she gave Willow someone after she lost her true love [Tara]), it just felt too wrong.
I did like the unity of the Potentials and the Scoobies in the last episode, and the fight against The First, which was quite a good Big Bad. (My favorite Big Bads are still Glory and Dark Willow though.) Unity is a good message for a show like Buffy to end on- Unity and the power of women. Which is, after all, what the show's premise is: a seemingly ordinary girl who fights demons. I liked how they made all the girls who could possibly be Slayers into Slayers. To me that says: anyone can be whatever they want to be, so long as they wish it and try.
Basically, I'm glad I finished up Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but I will not being watching Season Seven again.
So, a good friend came over this afternoon, and together we braved the last ever episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I'm so relieved that Season Seven is over and done with. Though it had its good moments, all in all I was not a fan of this season whatsoever.
Granted, I came into it with a bias (I'm a HUGE Tara fan, and thus after Season Six, nothing was ever really the same again.) But even without that slant, many parts of this season just bothered me. Namely, the Potentials. Many of them are so whiny, and though I was glad with what happened in the end (all of them being activated and such) I didn't like them. Especially Kennedy. Never mind that she was Willow's new girlfriend (NO ONE can top Tara, so I was set up to dislike Kennedy) but she is so annoying even ignoring my bias, and a self-confessed "brat". She's also not Willow's type.
Willow's other relationships (Oz and Tara) were quiet, caring, compassionate, and selfless individuals. They put others first, and helped Willow to mature and discover who she really was/her place in the world. Kennedy was nearly the opposite. She whined, she was too loud, and she pushed Willow to points where she (Willow) felt quite uncomfortable. Though there are some things she did right (she gave Willow someone after she lost her true love [Tara]), it just felt too wrong.
I did like the unity of the Potentials and the Scoobies in the last episode, and the fight against The First, which was quite a good Big Bad. (My favorite Big Bads are still Glory and Dark Willow though.) Unity is a good message for a show like Buffy to end on- Unity and the power of women. Which is, after all, what the show's premise is: a seemingly ordinary girl who fights demons. I liked how they made all the girls who could possibly be Slayers into Slayers. To me that says: anyone can be whatever they want to be, so long as they wish it and try.
Basically, I'm glad I finished up Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but I will not being watching Season Seven again.
Thoughts currently in my mind: Pathways
 |
| I took this. It's one of many pathways in my life. |
I like taking photographs of pathways. This habit did not begin on purpose, it just so happens that pathways seem to be a theme amongst my photography. I suppose it's not completely strange- I do love traveling, and in order to get anywhere, one must travel along a path of some sort- whether it be dirt, concrete, or air. Pathways lead us to new aspects of our lives. Without them we'd go nowhere, literally or metaphorically.
Monday, September 5, 2011
First things first.
I figured that the utmost important thing in having a blog was to introduce oneself. Even if I'm saying hello to the unknown, even if no one actually reads this, it feels like the right thing to do.
So, hi! I'm a human being. I like things!
I've loved writing ever since I was quite small, there is something so magical about holding a pencil between your fingers, especially when the pencil is seemingly large in comparison to your small size. Now I write on computers mostly, but I still have this obsession with purchasing notebooks, even if they are never used. I love words. One of my favorite websites is Save The Words, which is a site that allows you to "adopt" words that have gone out of use. It's one of the most wonderful things on the Internet.
In case you couldn't tell from the title of this blog, I like Alice in Wonderland. I blame my dad for that. It's one of his favorite books.
Other things I like?
So, hi! I'm a human being. I like things!
I've loved writing ever since I was quite small, there is something so magical about holding a pencil between your fingers, especially when the pencil is seemingly large in comparison to your small size. Now I write on computers mostly, but I still have this obsession with purchasing notebooks, even if they are never used. I love words. One of my favorite websites is Save The Words, which is a site that allows you to "adopt" words that have gone out of use. It's one of the most wonderful things on the Internet.
In case you couldn't tell from the title of this blog, I like Alice in Wonderland. I blame my dad for that. It's one of his favorite books.
Other things I like?
- Scrabble- I love words, so why wouldn't I like this game?
- Plums- I've always loved them, but in the past week it's become more of an obsession. Sadly, I'll soon have to bid adieu to them until next summer.
- Otters- FAVORITE ANIMAL. They are just so adorable. They are also quite intelligent.
- History- Why things happened, how people interact. It's all so fascinating!
That is not a complete list, but those are the things that first come to mind.
Oh! I'm also rather obsessed with Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Doctor Who. So, every now and then I may mention one of the two. I don't watch much television, but there are a few shows I do quite enjoy. Next summer (or possibly in April) I'm going to watch How I Met Your Mother.
I love school, I adore books, I like nature, I like questioning reality, and I like randomness. So, there's a preview of what to (possibly) expect on this blog!
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