Graduation Day

Tomorrow, June 10th, 2012, I graduate High School.

It's hard for me to wrap my mind around it. I mean, I get what graduation is, but my only real experience with seeing Graduation happen comes from Gilmore Girls and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So, yeah. No real graduations.

Friends from other schools are posting photos on Facebook.

It's strange to think that we walk across a stage of sorts, and are given a piece of paper, and then we are done. It's finalized. We are permitted to continue on with our lives. Do whatever we plan to do after High School.

As this day has been coming closer, I've realized just how quickly it seems as though grades K through 12 have gone by. I have snippet memories-- and I realize that even though I am someone who can get irrationally worried, I've had a great twelve (thirteen?) years. Has everything been perfect? No. Are there things I would change? Yes.

But all in all, it was a good set of years. And college is coming. The college I've wanted to go to since I was about eight.

And this summer is going to be wonderful. I'm going to see friends, new and old; read like crazy; get ready for college; walk; write; drink Passion Tea Lemonade; watch television shows I want to see/catch up on; and I'm going to make the most of it.

I may be scared, but I am also happy. Really, actually happy.

Goals for the Summer

Because I made a list at the beginning of Senior Year. I like making lists.

So, here goes nothing:

1. Read 25 books
2. Go to California
3. Read two books in French
4. Watch some of Angel
5. Catch up on How I Met Your Mother
6. Get fun things for my college dorm room
7. Move into college (!!!)
8. Find a pretty ring to wear
9. Take more photographs
10. Write
11. Become vegan for a period of time
12. Find a Willow-like sweater
13. Have fun

Last Last Day

In September, I wrote a post about my last first day.

Today is my last last day. Of high school. Obviously I still have schooling left to do in my life, but at 2:30pm today I will no longer be a high school student.

In October I made a list of goals I wanted to accomplish, and I did accomplish a good lot of them. Including such tasks as learning to knit (mostly) and meeting Amber Benson (which was originally put on there as a 'oh wouldn't that be lovely. there's no way it will happen.' sort of thing.) I got into my dream college.

I went to two theater performances (and if theater wasn't so much money, there's a third I would have loved to go to.)

I started (and ADORE) How I Met Your Mother. I read well over thirty books, and I read a good number of classics or near-classics.

And I did so much beyond the list. I worked in my school's library. I got to do an English project on Sylvia Plath. I went to Senior Prom with one of my best friends.

I've listened to really bad (though catchy) Top 40 songs. Willingly. And I've enjoyed some of them.

I'm learning to drive. But that's another story.

I'm now eighteen. Which is weird.

I've voted!

And of course, I've done even more than that.

This year has been stressful, but it has also been wonderful, all in all.

And I can't wait for college.

Forty-Eight

In fewer than 48 hours I will be done with High School forever.

There will be no more.

And that's weird. Really weird.

Apparently so weird that I can't even form proper sentences.

I'm probably going to be a mess on Wednesday. As excited as I am for college, I'm sad to leave my teachers and my friends.

Well, at least I can always visit again.

On vacation, from college. But it'll be weird to no longer be a student. I've been in the same school system since first grade (I went to a private kindergarten in my town). And soon I'll be moving across the state.

To my dream college, but still.

It's just so weird.

There's no other way to describe it.

Wednesday is my last last day.

Weird.

Magical Words

Every now and then, I come across a truly magical book.
One that surpasses true adoration, one that there are no words for.

Just recently, I happened to find one of these books.
Veronika Decides to Die. Yes, the title might be off-putting, and yes, it's sad so far (I haven't finished).
But there is something about it. Something I have no words for, but I have fallen completely in love with it.
I opened it up, began reading, and four pages in I was infatuated.

I don't know why, and I honestly can't explain it, but I know that this book will be one of the many that makes it to college with me. And that makes me really, really happy.

In One Month

In one month I will have graduated High School.
I will have said goodbye to my teachers.

My grades will all be finalized;
and I'll have to really start organizing
for college.

A college I so want to go to,
but I am still scared.
Which is only natural,
I suppose.

I hope that, in college,
I will have enough room to
bring all the books that I need
to find comfort.

I have summer reading.
Something that some may
grumble about, but something
that I love, am grateful for.

In one month,
I will be nervous.
But in one month,
everything will still
be okay.

(c) May 2012

Forward Thoughts

I need to begin a packing list for college; in four months I'll be about to start classes if I haven't already started them.
While I want to go to college so desperately, I also want to stay at home and be eight again, when I had the time to run outside and read more than I have the time to now.

Nostalgia is good to a certain point, but it is also vital to move on. Because, undoubtedly, in ten years, when I am twenty-eight (AH!), I'll look back and say "boy, I wish I was in college again". No matter what, I'll have an awesome time at college. The opportunities will shoot up, and I'll be able to meet so many new people...

I have less than a month left of High School, until I am more in the real world. So, I ought to make the best of it. Which includes relaxing and doing more homework. Which, while it stresses me out to an extent, it's also the way that I am making all that I can out of my last days.

And then, I'll have a few days without school, followed by graduation, followed by my officially becoming a COLLEGE STUDENT. Gah. But also YAY.

Because, as freaked as I might be, I just can't wait for it. :)

Searching

She searches,
in and out of each silver door,
for a safe haven, where she can
finally have peace,
breathe, relax,
maybe even dream.

Many silver doors hide monsters,
and she shuts them frantically,
unable to find one where she feels
safe.

I whisper to her,
but she motions me away,
and continues her search.

I like to think of her as
Alice. I enter a silver door,
and I find peace.

When I come out, she is
nowhere to be
found.

(c) May 2012

Childhood

This afternoon I decided to relax for a bit and so I took out a box of photographs of my childhood.
I mean, I'm not old now, but these pictures tended to range from when I was a baby until I was about seven (being that I'm now eighteen, these were from over a decade of my life ago... woah.).

As I flipped through them, I reflected (as I tend to do...). While I have always known this, I was suddenly overcome with the fact of what an utterly wonderful childhood I had. I mean, are there aspects of it I would like to have gone differently? Yes, but that is simply how life goes. One always can think, in hindsight, of things he or she would have changed, if he or she had the chance.

Growing up, however reluctant I may be to do so at times, is so important, because, without it, I would not have the memories that I do. I think the most important thing that one can do is to keep memories, especially happy ones, very close. And to make more memories, ones to reflect on later in life.

That's what college can be for. I've fallen increasingly more in love with my college of choice, and even though I may long for something else at times, I know that this college will be wonderful and extremely helpful in helping me emerge as a strong young woman.

I've decided to have the best time possible in my last month of High School ever, because I am saddened to be leaving, to go on to the bigger world. Whenever I feel nervous I tell myself that this is what I've dreamed of ever since I was about eight.

And I just can't wait.

Little Things

I often feel as though I never have the time to do the extra things I love (i.e. ukulele & knitting). I need to get off the computer and do them when I don't have work.

I always say that, but I'm really going to make it my goal to get away from technology more... because that is when I am happiest.

I also need to eat even more fruit. Because I love it so.

____

What Once was Sun

Effervescent- she is.
Children run in and about the
playground, perfect,
pinacle, of innocence and charm.

A mother's heartbeat as her child
lays on her breast,
ba-bum, ba-bum.
Over and over.

All that is left now is a
photograph album,
dusty from years of
neglect. Years have gone,

she cannot say what happened.
Yet she knows and remembers
that day, in the sun.

(c) April 2012

Knitting (and more)

I'm learning how to knit. Which is crazy-awesome, even though I'm mediocre at best, but I'm learning, and that's what matters.

I've also decided on a college, which feels weird. It wasn't my first choice, I almost didn't even apply there. But I've fallen in love, and while some small part of me still says "what about the others?" I know I will love this college. It may not have all the fancy traditions of some of the others, but it's beautiful and everyone there is so nice and lovely.

I also only have about 26 school days left (not weekends). I'm terrified. Really, honestly. Now that the end of the year is this close, I don't want it. I'm going to really miss some of the people at my High School.

This post is turning into something quite random, but two weekends ago (4/15) I saw The Cabin in the Woods and it was one of the most fantastic pieces of film that I have seen in a while. I can't say anything about it, but go see it! (Unless you really, really can't stand anything even sort of scary).

___

Visions of the Woods

The birds flit down from the clouds,
holding petals and pieces of
worn-out parchment.

The girls dance in the meadows within,
carrying laurel and roses, bouquets
for the lost.

The trees are just beginning,
seeds showing their leaves,
from the ground.

And the rain comes--
a flood, before anyone can
escape, it takes them.

The petals float among the gray
waters, until they become
sodden and torn.

(c) April 2012

Fears

I know that I've been posting mainly "end of the year" posts of late, but that is what I am mainly thinking about.

I'm terrified, and joyous. I hope that my college decision is the right one--the one that will get me into a good graduate school, which, in turn, will allow me to have a good life. I dislike disappointing people, and I'm afraid that saying "no" to my other beloved acceptances will make them mad. I know that this is a silly thought, but I can't help it.

There is a Sylvia Plath quote that describes my worries (because there is a Sylvia Plath quote for everything): "What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle-age." I am so afraid of failure, more than anything else (frogs, spiders, heights, bees). I need to feel successful, and hopefully that is what college will bring for me. I can only wish.

I know that I can make the best of my educational life, but I'm still scared. I mean, I've never been to college before.

In other news, I got sorted on Pottermore the other day, and I'm a Ravenclaw. So it is official. I've identified with the Ravenclaw house for quite some time, and, while I fully identify as a Ravendor, I did not not want to be a Gryffindor.

Also, vacation has been lovely in many ways. I saw "Cabin in the Woods" with friends. It was so wonderful. And I am now going to go read and listen to bad music. Which is always entertaining.

Rambles: Reflections

So, I'm becoming increasingly philosophic as the end of the school year draws closer.

I just realized that in two months I will not only be done with school, but I will have graduated. Holy moly!

Then I will go off to college, and have a wonderful experience, and be happy and study all that I've always wanted to.

I'm also pretty sure I'm going to be a mess on the last day of school. I'm really, really going to miss some of my teachers.

I just have so many weird feelings right now.

Vacation is soon, which means I can relax and study.

It's April

Which is weird.

School ends so soon... but I am so busy... so it doesn't really feel that way... within a month, I'll have to decide on which college I'm going to attend. (!!!)

And to be quite frank, I'm scared to make that decision. I know that wherever I go, I'll do well, but I'm still scared.

Deciding will be a bit of a stress-reliever, I'd like to hope...

I also want (need) to blog some more. I want to post photos, and maybe recipes... because I dually love baking and food photography. I need to take more pictures, and I need to practice my ukulele more than I am (which has been almost not at all because of the amount of work I've had).

It also stopped feeling like Spring, which is annoying. I like love Spring. I'd like it back now, please.

I'm going to list things I'd like to do before school is up:

1. Write seven short stories.
2. Take 300 photos (some/many of which can be bad).
3. Read more classics!
4. Choose a fantastic college and stick with it!
5. Find an awesome prom dress (yeah, it's April and I still don't have one).
6. Walk even more!
7. Play my ukulele.
8. Learn how to knit.
9. Blog more often (sorry for the sparsity of late...)

We shall see if I accomplish all these things. Also, I'll  breathe more.

Rambles: Reasons

So, sometimes things that are really annoying or really bad happen.
And sometimes one puts those things on a catastrophic level when they don't need to be.
Because things will happen for a reason, even if that reason is not understandable at the moment.

Also, nothing cannot be remedied with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, tea, and strawberries.

This has been a post, albeit a short one.

Here are reasons that I should be happy:

1. I'm likely going to Scotland this summer.
2. Otters
3. I can probably double minor in college (!!)-- Gender Studies and French perhaps?
4. Libraries
5. The Dewey Decimal System
6. I'm seeing my cousins in a bit more than a week!
7. Strawberries

More Rambles

Even though school doesn't end for another two months, it really feels as though everything is winding down.

My history teacher gave us our last syllabus... our next unit in Biology is our last...

and, as much as I am joyful at the prospect of beginning college, I'm sad. High School has been hard and oftentimes stressful beyond belief, but it's been home. And now I'm going to be leaving.

And, about a week or so after my last day is my graduation. I'll walk up on stage in front of hundreds of people to get a slip of paper that acknowledges my lack of failure, and then I'll sit back down. And it will all be over. Holy moly.

And then it will be summer, filled with traveling, being a counselor, ukulele, iced tea, reading, hanging out with friends before we all depart for college, and relaxing. And more reading.

The aspect of college that stresses me out most is honestly what books I'm going to bring. Because I have hundreds and I can most likely only bring twenty or fewer. Eep.

I don't have the classic "senioritis", and I don't think I'll get it. However, on warm days (such as today), I really want to sit and drink iced tea and read, and not have to worry. Alas, I do still worry. College acceptances/rejections, schoolwork, exercise, what to read next... worryworryworry.

I crave good music. I want to travel to foreign countries. I want to have more time for my ukulele. I want to write more for fun.  I want to read all the Nancy Drew stories (classic) that I have not yet read. I want to write my paper analyzing Buffy and I want to start more. I want to be vegan. I want to walk around the city. I want to be fluent in French and three more languages. I want to dye my hair a slightly lighter shade of brown. Or maybe a deep red. I want to learn ballroom dancing. I want to learn ASL.

I want to study linguistics in my spare time (hah, what spare time?), I want to read up more on gender studies, and I need to learn more about psychology. I hope that I can work in my college's library. Books are wonderful companions and I get lost in them.

I'm very tired, so I'm going to go to sleep now.

Passing Thoughts: Mind reading

A few days ago I was watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in which she gains the ability to read minds.

Which got me thinking (as many things tend to do): would I, if given the chance, like to be able to read minds?

Yes. Of course. I'd love to know what people are thinking. It's like extra-deluxe people watching!

No. Never. It's an invasion of privacy, and goodness knows I wouldn't want to know everything that everyone was thinking.

But it would be interesting, we keep so much hidden behind our words. Even if we aren't afraid to show who we are, our minds are the one place no one can get to unless we permit them, and if mind reading were possible, barriers would fall apart between both friends (close and not), family, and strangers.

Obviously, excessive secrecy is bad, but complete openness in all aspects of life does not do one any good either.

I "read" people. I always have. I form judgements about them based on their body language, but I also rely on visual signals to have a good conversation. Because of this, I have a very hard time talking on the phone. I get extremely anxious at the prospect of having to make a telephone call, the only people with whom I feel completely okay with calling are my parents. Even other family members and close friends make me nervous.

This is also why I don't really love texting. It's a false sense of communication.

On that note, I'm so very glad I did not have any phone interviews for college. That is a true blessing.

How to Read

I read a lot. I read fairly quickly.

People like to comment on this, saying "Emily, how do you read so much/so fast?!", "Emily, how many books have you read this week?", "What are you reading now?" and so on.

So here you go. This is a guide for how to read.

Pick a book, any book. Go to a library, a bookstore of any sort. Grab a book off the shelf and buy it if it looks even sort of good. Take it home with you. Sit on your couch, and open up the book. Bring it to your face and breathe in. Close your eyes, prepare for take off.

Open up to page one. Start reading. Fall in love with the characters, the plot, the language. Cry, laugh, be appalled. It's all natural. Feel what the characters are feeling. Identify with one or more of them if you can. That can always help. Look up words you don't know or words that you have forgotten.

Stand up, stretch, make yourself some tea. If it's time for bed, sleep. Then read more, allow the "real" world to fall away so that you are only left with the world of the author's creation. Imagine what it looks like. Smell the book again, as many times as you want. Hold it close if a character is having a hard time, or if they die. Which obviously sucks. Let feeling come over you.

Have another cup of tea, or coffee, or a bottle of water. Shift your reading position. I personally like to read while I am upside-down. But maybe that's just me. Forget the world around you, you might even forget to eat. I would advise having an apple, a bowl of strawberries, or popcorn nearby. Sit until your legs are sore, until you feel as though you've been walking for hours. Smell the book again.

Once you reach the end, it's okay to cry. Slowly walk out of the new world, savoring it until the back cover closes. Breathe in the book's smell once again, hold it close, and then repeat.

Leap Day

I felt the need to make a post today, simply because I won't be able to make one on this date for another four years.

So, bam! Leap Day! I read a book with that title a few years ago... it was good, I think.

That's about it for this post. Tomorrow is March, which means I have a little over three months until I graduate high school, after which I will go to college and study fun things like literature, or history, or women's studies. Who knows?! Once I decide I may tell this blog. We shall see.

I feel like if I weren't somewhat sick and tired, I'd be able to make more of an interesting post, but hey, I posted on February 29th! Which makes me feel accomplished. I've decided that I may make a small list of three to five things that I want to accomplish each day, things such as "smile to seven people you don't know", "post on leap day", "include a reference to Dollhouse in your in class English essay". Things like that. Then I will be able to feel as though I have done something each and every day.

There you go.

Nancy Drew and Me

When I was twelve, oddly and ironically amidst my Twilight phase (which I now regret immensely), I announced to my parents that I no longer liked the Nancy Drew book series. This expression of distaste was not because the books were below my reading level (they had already been for at least two to three years at that point), but because I said they were "anti-feminist".

I continue to think of the inherent irony in my campaign against Nancy, because during the years that I refused to read her books, I bought clothing from stores such as American Eagle and Aéropostale, stores I now refuse to enter because of the sexism that they seem to encourage. I also watched 'Hannah Montana' and read the Twilight series. I glommed onto these and other trends (though I did start Twilight before the major influx of twilighters/hards, back in 2006...) and yet I denounced Nancy, whom I had loved just a year or so before.

I put the mysteries in the back of my over-flowing bookshelves, and moved onto other things, things I now regret. I suppose it what a "phase" of mine, one that has taught me well.

However, just over a week ago, I pulled out a Nancy Drew mystery from the back of my bookshelves at my mom's house. I decided that I would read them again.

I've come to the conclusion that I was a naïve twelve-year-old. I now believe the mysteries to actually be feminist, rather than anti-feminist as I adamantly claimed six years ago. Yes, Nancy does get trapped and sometimes has to be rescued by her "special friend" Ned (the books rarely call him her "boyfriend", though he was) at points, but she's a smart and an independent eighteen-year-old living in the thirties. The fact that she's out driving her fancy convertible and solving crime is pretty impressive. Also, both her father (a semi-famous and fairly intelligent lawyer) and the Police Chief of her town always ask her for help. They never seem to be able to solve a mystery without her.

The time period in which many of the Nancy Drew books were written is very important to consider as well. In the 1930s, women did not have the same rights as they do in 2012. Things were far more male-oriented then (though with all the recent GOP stuff...), and women simply did not have the rights that they do now. Nancy was an icon, one could say. She proved that women could do more than cook and clean. Heck, they could fight crime!! They could outsmart men (many of her adversaries seem to be male) and they could drive slick cars. They could do all that while still being feminine. Nancy is often described in the books as something along the lines of "an attractive titian blonde", and the illustrations show her wearing nice dresses or skirts. Nancy manages to wear good clothing and manage to run around, climb trees/ladders, and do whatever it takes for her to solve a crime. And she will always solve it, whatever it takes.

She's also compassionate and caring. She genuinely wants to help those who are in trouble. She wants those around her to be happy and to have better lives.

So while Nancy isn't perfect, she's much more than my twelve-year-old self gave her credit for. (Plus, she's far more feminist than Bella Swan, a girl living in the twenty-first century).

Sorry Nancy.

The Addams Family Musical

On Friday evening, my dad and I went to see The Addams Family.

It was fabulous and wonderful.

I really, really enjoyed it. I mean, was it perfect? No, but few things are (see: tea and good literature).

I also bought myself the CD of the original cast, which is quite lovely to have. I can listen to strange music whenever I please!

The one thing that makes me sad about seeing shows not in NYC is that they don't do "stage door" so I cannot meet the cast and tell them all how wonderful they are/ get their autographs. Because I wanted to meet the actress who played Wednesday, because I love Wednesday and I was her for Halloween! (Apparently I make a good Wednesday, but that's not the point).

I was very pleased with the musical. It could have gone badly, but it went very well. I almost wore my Halloween costume, but that dress is quite literally from 20 + years ago (probably more) and it keeps on tearing, so I couldn't. If there had been stage door, and I had known there would be, I would have worn my costume. But there was not, and so I did not.

It was still lovely to go to the theater and it really felt like a start to a good vacation.

A Collection of Thoughts

I have a lot of books.

I have so many in my "to read" pile, yet I continue to buy more. I always come up with one more book  I want, and I either borrow or buy it, and into the pile it goes!

I cannot wait for college. I need it soon. I just want to be in a environment of intellectual young adults. Sorry High School, but you don't really supply that.

I like baking/making sweet foods, but I don't really have much desire to eat them.

I want to be vegan. Maybe.

Why do I like Lana Del Ray's music? It's strange, yet addictive.

I'm in a constant state of mind when it feels an hour or more later than it actually is. I don't know why this is, but it's strange.

I love tea. It's one of the best things in the universe.

I think I may want to minor/double major in Gender or Women's Studies in college. It would be fun, and goes along well with what my majors may be.

I'm going to see The Addams Family Musical tomorrow. (!!!)

I get to watch Dollhouse, read, and do homework over vacation! Read! I get free time to read as much of whatever I want to read!

I want to take more time to reflect on the world. Because I love the little things in the world, and I don't spend enough time thinking about the world around me. At least not as much as I'd like to.

Emily discusses Dystopia

So today I decided that I want to write a paper on the representation of dystopian worlds in literature and on TV. It's funny that I want to analyze TV so very much (Dollhouse, Buffy...) because I really don't like/watch that much TV. Who knows?

The idea of dystopian worlds scares and intrigues me. I want to compare Brave New World to Dollhouse, and I want to go beyond that and analyze the implications that each, and other dystopian works, have on our society and the way in which we perceive things.

We strive for equality, yet we simultaneously attempt to control those around us. We want equality so much that we end up harming other people. What if we took it a step further? These dystopian worlds are not entirely impossible. While they are obviously Science Fiction, they don't usually have aliens. The real villains are humans themselves. We will cause our own destruction because of the advances we make in technology and how we scoff at socialism and yet integrate bits of it into society. By this I mean we make all these advances far too quickly, and to sound cliché, if the machinery ends up in the wrong (though intelligent) hands, we're all doomed. Happy thoughts, huh?

Socialism, in theory, is brilliant, but in practice, it has never truly worked out.

Oh, today was Valentine's Day, wasn't it? :)

Nothing much happened, I had an early release from school, I took a nap, I did homework and read.

Now I need to go to sleep, because it's late and I like sleep. Plus, I'm re-reading Nancy Drew!

A Random list of Things I Like

I wanted to post something here, and I thought: "Hey! I'll just post a list of my favorite things!" Because people care about that, right? (maybe)

Freshly washed strawberries, fuzzy (old) sweaters, warm tea with sugar, the color teal, roses and poppies, used book stores, (baby) otters, libraries, colorful candles, interesting music, reading, the feel of ukulele strings, pears, plums, and cantaloupe (oh my!), wonderland, wintergreen lifesavers, strawberry lotion, vintage dresses, literature, converse shoes, walking in the evening, photography, cityscapes, traveling to new places, cancelled/ended tv shows, VHSs, yoga, pretty/fun necklaces, rainbow sherbet, tights, european history, sylvia plath, vegetarian Vietnamese spring rolls, and watermelon gum.

Football

Currently the Superbowl is going on. I'm not watching it.

I just don't really like sports all that much. Except for the purpose of examining them from a sociological perspective.

My dad and I went out to eat at about 6, and almost no one was outside. Normally, at 6 on a Sunday night there would be many people outside, and yet there were very few. It's almost eerie the effect that a simple sport can have on us. People go out and they buy fried food and chips and they have beer and soda, all in celebration of men who run around with a ball. As a culture, we seem to worship these men. Yes, I do understand that playing football is not easy (flashbacks to gym classes), but still. They get paid so much more (SO much more) than social workers or teachers. We dub sports players "heroes" of sorts.

Why? Why do we pay them millions of dollars for running around...?

(Side note: All I know of the game is coming from my news feed. Which is certainly another sociological experiment for another time... but it does amuse me to see what people are saying!)

 I much prefer to use my time to read, study interesting things about the world, and analyze Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

And wish I could catch up on Downton Abbey... which will happen at some point. (By catch up I mean actually watch it).

On another note, Happy February!

Poetry

I like poetry. I honestly do.

I am saddened to see, when we do a poetry unit in English class, that so many people grumble about poems. I find them beautiful, and there is so much below the surface of most poems... more than one might get if he or she were to just skim over the poem.

Evidently, I also write poetry, but I believe that my love of it is not correlated specifically with the fact that I write. I mean, I'm sure that my adoration is in some way correlated with my actual writing, but I've loved reading since before I could write, and I suppose it is my ability to write that has strengthened my love and appreciation for literature and writing of all sorts.

This is not to say I love every poem in the world. I don't. But I like poetry as a more general category, as a concept that one can analyze and explore.

Wonders of the World

Sometimes, when I wake up early, the sun hasn't quite risen yet.
The light it provides when it finally does rise is beautiful.

Sometime I'd like to go outside early in the morning and watch a proper sunrise, to see the beauty that our world does have. The beauty that is overlooked.

Because we too often overlook the simple parts of life. I think that that is part of why I love childcare so much. I love going for walks with kids I teach or babysit, they will stop to look at the cracks in the sidewalk, or a small bug on the playground. These are things that so many of us simply overlook, because we are too busy rushing from place to place.

There is always time to look around oneself, to take in the sheer wonder that the world holds in it.

Which is part of why I love walking. Walking puts me right in the midst of the wonder that is the world. I can breathe fresh air and look around me with hopes of absorbing some of the wonder that the world has.

I long to climb onto a roof (with permission of course) and watch a sunset and sleep there for the night, and wake up early enough to see the sunrise.

There is so much to experience in our world, and if we were to slow down, even if only for a moment, we'd be able to glean at least a small part of it, making us more aware and more connected.

In Which I Ramble: Words

Being both a reader and a writer, I love words.

I love learning new ones, I develop favorites, and I try to use them as much as I can.

One I recently discovered was 'lethologica' which means the inability to recall a precise word at a given time.
Another is zenzizenzizenzic which is a mathematical expression that represents a number raised to the eighth power.

And so on, and so forth.

I just find the construction of words so interesting, and I am amazed at the sheer number of words that exist. Words for things one would never think that they'd need a word for...

The Notebook of Quotes

Recently I started a notebook in which I can keep track of interesting/inspiring/funny quotes. I started it because I will often be reading or listening to music, or watching a TV show, and I hear/see a quote I really like, but I have nothing to write it down on.

So I solved my problem, and so long as I remember to bring the notebook with me wherever I go, I'm all set. I just love quotes, and I feel as though I need some sort of funny/strange hobby, and if collecting quotes is one of my hobbies, then there I go.

There are currently only four quotes in it, but I look forward to putting more in.

Also, the notebook may also be used for poems, stories, or small drawings. I shall not limit myself to only quotes.

There really is nothing like writing in a new notebook.

In Which I Ramble: Travel

I have so many places that I want to go to---

to meet new people, and learn about different cultures,

to speak different languages, and try new foods--

to go to bookstores and other shops,

and to walk in nature, or in the city.

Anywhere.


I love travel more than I can put into words. The very thought of it makes me smile so greatly, I just want to buy a plane ticket to anywhere, and go! It's not that I want to escape--travel with family or friends is utterly wonderful as well.

While I look forward to all aspects of college, one thing I look forward to most of all is "travel abroad".

Perchance

Perchance, a rainbow
lives beyond the clouds,

where the little girls and boys
want to
run to
so that they can be happy.

Perchance, there exists a blanket,
so warm and
so soft that
it's worth analyzing

for English class.

And Perchance, there is a day
just cool enough
to warrant the use
of a sweater,

but not too cold.

Perchance there is a teacup,
filled of tea
warmed just right,

sweet, but not too sweet.

Perchance.

(c) January 2012

In which I am a Hamlet fangirl

I've already said I love Shakespeare. But I adore Hamlet.

We're currently reading it in AP Literature, and oh my goodness it makes me so happy. (This is the third time I've read it, but now I get to actually do analysis on it and everything!!!)

Yesterday I spent a bit of time finding Hamlet videos on YouTube, just because I could, and I had my dad order me Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead from my town's bookstore.

I also came up with a couple name for Hamlet and Ophelia. Omelet.

That's all I have to say on the subject for now...

Happy New Year!

So, it's another year. 2012.

I get the importance of a new year, but even watching the ball drop on TV doesn't really mean much to me. I mean, yeah, it's pretty weird that we are in another year, but today is just the tomorrow of yesterday, but when we write the date, we now must put a 12 or 2012 at the end instead of an 11.

I don't want to be a pessimist, I do find it amazing how we, as an entire world, celebrate life on this one special evening/morning. That is something to look at. There is no other day when the whole world erupts in celebration over the course of a day, as it becomes a new year.

And of course, I've made resolutions. So many people do, and I really do want to try to stick to them... I'll give you a few of them:

• Write at least five poems a week, or a short story.
• Really start learning a third language (I know English and some French). I'm not sure exactly which language this will be quite yet, but I do have a few ideas.
• Turn off all technology and meditate/do yoga at least once a day for at least 15 minutes.
• Go for as many walks as I can.
• Read as many of Shakespeare's plays as I can.
• Read Ulysses.
• Cook and bake more.
• Play my Ukulele at least once a day for at least 15 minutes.
• Write a research paper (or two) just for the fun of it.

Those are my main ones, we shall see how this year goes. It's a big one for me--graduating high school and going off to college. Yipes.